The 2-Man Weave

I’ve got three words for you: Brandon Roy is freakin’ awesome! I know it isn’t technically three words, but sometimes I get so excited thinking about the upcoming Blazer season that I yell it out like a maniac and it all jumbles together into two or three words. Whatever…

This is the point of this post. Anyone with an ounce of Blazer fanhood should be drooling over this article. Everyone else in the Western Conference should be worried. GO’s learning curve won’t matter when you have a guy like this at the helm.

BRANDON ROY IS FREAKIN’ AWESOME! How many words was that?

–1–
TheBaron: So the Finals start Thursday, I guess.
29Slim: No they don’t.
B: I’m sorry?
S: There are no Finals this year.
B: Oh, I see what you’re doing. You’ve disowned the Finals.
S: What Finals?
B: I like it. Let’s take a stand.
S: How could we not? David Stern gets exactly what he wants, as does seemingly every national media member in the country, and we’re supposed to be happy about it?
B: Right. I don’t argue that it’s not good for the NBA. This really is the best thing that could happen to the NBA. This Finals will probably get the highest ratings in a decade–the NBA will make loads of cash.
S: I don’t know this Finals of which you speak. Besides, who cares if the NBA makes money?
B: Exactly! I’m a Blazers fan, and a basketball fan. It really makes no difference to me at all if the NBA makes or loses money. I have no crazy fan affiliation with the NBA. It doesn’t own me, I have nothing invested in it. It so happens that a team for which I do have a crazy fan affiliation plays in the NBA.
S: Yes.
B: In fact, I’d even argue that the NBA making boatloads of money is bad for the game. More money is more fame, is more me-first attitude that the NBA is finally beginning to crawl out from under with today’s young stars (Paul, Roy, Wade (of 2 years ago), Oden, etc.).
S: Interesting point. So now that the NBA season is officially over (’cause we said so), we’re going to have to get a bit more creative with what to talk about.
B: I’m not good with creativity.
S: Maybe creative was the wrong word. How about resourceful? Can you handle being resourceful?
B: No. Wait, yes. What?
S: Idiot. Baseball is still in the long, boring regular season, and football isn’t close enough to excite me. And since we will never, ever consider Nascar a sport worthy of conversation, I say we go NBA draft talk.
B: Your resourcefulness astounds me.

–2–
S: Shut up. The Blazers (and probably other teams, but what do I care about them?) start their draft workouts today.
B: Yessir. Your favorite on the list?
S: Russell Westbrook, for sure. You?
B: Probably Westbrook, though I’m not convinced he could be made into an NBA PG. Beyond that, I am convinced that the Blazers will trade the pick, so it doesn’t matter.
S: For who?
B: Dunno, they could either move up if KP falls in love with one particular player, or move out if they package it with a couple pieces for a veteran-ish PG.
S: So there’s no chance at all we pick Westbrook?
B: Not at 13. If KP loves him, we’ll get him. But we’ll move up to do it. That’s how KP rolls.
S: No, this is how KP rolls.
B: You know, there’s really no reason to work out any of these players.
S: Why’s that?
B: Robin Lopez is the clear pick at any number.
S: Definitely. Wait, you mean in the WNBA, right?
B: No. C’mon, Robin Lopez! The best player in the draft!
S: …
B: Fine. Here (via Truehoop). His coach said he’d take Brook and Robin #s 1 and 2 in this draft. You don’t let me have any fun.

–3–
S: The Orlando pre-draft camp numbers are out, and I have one thing to say: they’re all freaks.
B: Yeah?
S: I mean, George Hill? 3% body fat?
B: I’ve seen you with your shirt off (unfortunately), and you probably only have 3% body fat. You’re right. That is freakish. Check out some of the wingspans!
S: A guy named John Riek has a wingspan of 7′9″ and he’s 7′0″ tall! His arms would almost have to drag on the ground!
B: Holy crap! Sasha Kaun’s wingspan is a full 11″ more than his height! Who are these kids?
S: This is really creepy. You know, when I was a kid, I used to think I could play in the NBA if I just worked hard enough.
B: You were wrong.
S: There is no amount of work I could have done, at any point in my life.
B: You were always going to be a 8-5er, my friend.
S: This day suddenly got significantly worse.

–4–
B: Flip’s out. So who would be a good fit in Detroit, and would Flip fit in PHX?
S: Avery Johnson would be perfect for that franchise and its blue-collar, defense-first attitude. He’s a Joe Dumars type guy, too. But ‘Sheed can’t handle discipline.
B: If Detroit falls in love with Avery, though, it could finally be ‘Sheed’s curtain call. After at least a year of hell, that is.
S: True. That would be nice. As far as PHX goes, Flip would be a good coach there. He’s a good offensive coach, not so great on D… he’d be great. But I want Porter in there.
B: I like Terry too much for that. I want him in Detroit. He can actually succeed there.
S: He can’t in PHX?
B: Absolutely not. The Suns have nowhere to go but down over the next two years. They can’t trade Shaq, no one will take him. They could trade Amare, but you’d never get equal value. They can trade Nash (and probably should–he’ll start to decline soon), but then you’re looking at a total rebuilding.
S: They can’t contend again as is? At all?
B: Not a chance, in this west. The west has officially passed them by, unfortunately. The Spurs may be in the same boat, though I give them another year of seriously contending. The Suns will be stuck in the same first-round playoff exit hell that the Blazers were in throughout the mid 90s. No draft picks, no wins, etc. It’s going to be tough, and I don’t want Terry Porter to get blamed for it.
S: Like he did in Milwaukee. You make a good point.
B: Of course I do.
S: Did I ever tell you about the time I followed ‘Sheed home from Applebees’ in Portland?
B: You what?
S: Sorry, little off-topic but I had a flashback. I thought he was gonna kill me that night.
B: He probably would have! In fact, you probably shouldn’t mention much more. I wouldn’t put it past him to hunt you down on his first West-coast road trip of the season.
S: I hadn’t thought about that.
B: It was nice knowing you. The blog was fun while it lasted.

–5–
S: Moving on, we made Truehoop!!!
B: Henry is a saint. The spike in hits this morning has been unbelievable.
S: Even got a comment. An intelligent one. And he called you ignorant!
B: Can’t beat that! May we forever dedicate our newfound stardom to Henry Abbott and the irrefutable truth of his hoops.
S: Moment of silence or something?
B: Sure!

–1–
29Slim: Let’s add to the madness: foul, no foul?

TheBaron: I’ve got a much bigger beef regarding that play, but I’ll get to it. Yes it was a foul and yes it should be called.
S: Are you surprised that it wasn’t?
B: Not at all. Like the TNT guys said, he didn’t sell it and refs rarely call fouls that the players don’t sell.
S: Wait a minute. Does that seem wrong to anyone else?

–2–
B: I’m so friggin’ tired about all of the “you have to sell it” talk.
S: You realize you added to it above.
B: But I was answering the question you posed, and it was an appropriate answer. Refs don’t call it if you don’t sell it. Now I’m telling you that it’s an absolutely terrible precedent to set.
S: Agreed. Worse yet, the precedent has been set for some time.
B: Look at what it’s done, though. The TNT crew on that video, as well as guys all over the sports talks today, are advocating that Brent Barry, on the last shot of a game, fumble the ball to sell the call at the expense of getting a good shot off, thereby “forcing” the refs to make a call.
S: That was a lot of commas.
B: Thank you.
S: Agreed. An offensive player should never have to “force” the refs to make a call. If a foul is a foul, can’t you call it?
B: I’m fine with letting some fouls go, if they don’t affect the play at all and they’re not egregious.
S: Sure. But Fisher’s foul affected the quality of the shot that Barry could get. Clearly. What the bottom line here is, you are punishing a player for trying to get a good shot regardless of the refs and rewarding players who “sell a call” and put the game in the refs’ hands.
B: Reminds me of this 2000 Western Conference Semifinals game. This part, specifically:

With 1.4 seconds left, Russell inbounded the ball to Karl Malone, who gave it back to Russell, whose shot was way off. The Jazz and coach Jerry Sloan heatedly called for a foul, but no whistle came.

S: I don’t remember the play.
B: I remember Scottie’s 3 before this, and this play vividly. Rasheed bumped Russell as he was shooting, a lot like Fisher bumped Barry here–but more clearly in the act of shooting. Obviously, I was ecstatic that it wasn’t called, but as we established above, it probably should have been. It affected the shot. The difference between the two plays is how the shooter handled it. Bryon Russell, rather than focus on getting a good shot, leaned into ‘Sheed and sold the call, at the expense of focusing on his final shot. Russell was slammed by the media for letting the refs decide the game rather than trying to avoid the D and decide the game himself. I have no double standard here. I hate “forcing” the refs to call something. It takes the game completely out of the players’ hands.
S: I see all sorts of contradictions here, but we’ve probably taken this topic to its limit for now.
B: I always appreciate it when you overlook my contradictions.

–3–
S: Memphis offered Mike Miller up for Travis Outlaw and the Blazers’ #13?
B: Looks like it. I would love Mike Miller on the Blazers, but not at the expense of Trout and the #13.
S: How about for Trout straight up?
B: That would be intriguing, but I still probably don’t do it. Outlaw is still getting better, while Miller isn’t. Though his skills match what the Blazers need almost perfectly (no defense). Nah, I don’t do it.
S: This is interesting. It’s a Grizzlies fan message board. Good to see the other side of the coin. Most fans in there seem pretty level-headed. They admit that the trade isn’t really good for the Blazers.
B: Whoa! You see that guy who says that Mike Miller’s only equal on the Blazers’ roster is Brandon Roy?
S: That’s what message boards are for!

–4–
B: Chinese government says you can’t watch the NBA in China because it’s too happy for the tragic times.
S: Speaking of contradictions…
B: Yeah. Because when tragedy strikes, the last thing you need is distraction. You need to be immersed in your depression at all times. In fact, I move that we imprison anyone who is not currently crying in China.
S: Remember what a huge lift that first Saints game back in N’awlins was after Katrina?
B: I do. Apparently the Chinese government doesn’t.
S: Our country’s got issues, don’t get me wrong. Still can’t beat it.
B: Agreed.
S: I hope no other tragedies happen. They may cancel the Olympics.
B: 1) ‘Cause that’s the only reason to hope no tragedies happen? 2) Apparently they haven’t heard about Tibet. Or Darfur. Or…

–5–
S: Joakim Noah’s dad doesn’t give a rip that his son got arrested.
B: I’m guessing you do?
S: No, not really. It’s a minor-enough problem. But my issue is that Noah Sr. says it’s “no big deal.” Maybe it’s not a big deal over in France where he is, but it is here. He broke the law and got caught.
B: Good call. It may not be a huge offense and I may not really care about it, but it’s still breaking the law . Just like speeding. As long as it’s not crazy fast, speeding’s about as minor an offense as you can do. But if you get caught, don’t argue that you didn’t deserve it.
S: Yep. The best part, though, is that he got arrested at all.
B: Not sure I follow.
S: I can’t stand the kid. He’s too cocky, too ugly, and way too… not good enough.
B: Wouldn’t want to give the guy a few years in the league–you know, a legitimate chance to succeed–before proclaiming his worthlessness, would we?
S: Absolutely not. Come on. He’s a spoiled, rich, French, brat.
B: There’s nothing there that I can argue with.
S: Besides, how many good things to come out of France can you name? It’s French fries, French toast, and the Statue of Liberty. That’s it!
B: Okay, I’m shutting this post down before you get out of hand.

29Slim: So we’ve got a few games down in the final 4 of the NBA. Who ya got?
TheBaron: Can’t I just pretend it’s not going on so I don’t have to make a decision?
S: No.
B: Sure I can! I’m doing it for the presidential race too.
S: That’s very American of you.
B: Thanks.
S: But I want you to make a pick here.
B: You make one.
S: I can’t.
B: Hypocrite.
S: So what do people like us do? We love basketball, so we have to watch. But whatever the outcome, we’re unhappy.
B: Let’s set the ground rules, once and for all. What to do when you can’t root.
S: Okay, so first rule is I can’t root for the Lakers.
B: Obviously. You’re a Blazer fan. No matter what, you can’t root for a rival. Especially one with Kobe.
S: It would be blasphemy against all I consider sacred.
B: Indeed it would.
S: I can’t root for the Spurs. We both agree that Ginobili and Bowen, joined, make up the devil.
B: Keeping with the religious theme, I see. Though I’d contend that they make up only part of the devil. The devil, for our blog, must be like Voltron.
S: Voltron.
B: Ginobili and Bowen make up the feet. Give you one guess who the head and body must be.
S: I’m not sure I like the geekification of this post.
B: Work with me here.
S: Obviously Kobe.
B: So who are the arms?
S: Well, let’s move on and maybe we’ll find ‘em.
B: Ok.
S: I can’t root for Detroit, they’ve got ‘Sheed.
B: Right, so he’s one of the arms?
S: Got to be. So I guess that leaves Boston.
B: WHAT?!?
S: What?
B: You’re going to root for a team that blatantly tanked to try and get Oden. Then, when the basketball gods wouldn’t let it happen, they found a workaround.
S: I’m rewarding ingenuity.
B: You’re rewarding breaking the international unwritten rules of sport–don’t tank.
S: Okay, so who you got?
B: Fine. No Lakers. Been there. No Celtics, ’cause I have a soul.
S: Scoff!
B: I guess it’s Spurs and Pistons for me, probably hoping the Pistons take it?
S: Are you friggin’ kidding me? 2 of your 3 least favorite players of all time are on the Spurs, and you’re rooting for them?
B: Against the Lakers, Bruce Bowen’s dirt is just grit. And Ginobili’s flops are… flair.
S: You’re pathetic.
B: Hey, I hope they lose to the Pistons.
S: Yeah. So you’re rooting for the biggest waste of talent in NBA history.
B: Okay, here’s the real reason I want Spurs-Pistons.
S: Great, here we go.
B: We all know David Stern is dying for a Lakers-Celtics Finals.
S: And?
B: Thanks to a deluge of articles (this being the worst of the bunch), we all know the national media is dying for a Lakers-Celtics Finals.
S: They’re all in NY, LA and Boston. Of course they do.
B: Well I’m stickin’ it to the man.
S: By wanting LA and Boston to lose?
B: LA and Boston losing would stick it to the man, so me wanting to happen is just doing my part.
S: Saving the world, one idiotic rooting interest at a time?
B: Better than voting. I’m just tired of hearing about what a dream matchup LA and Boston would be.
S: It’s all about the history.
B: Screw history! I’m 27 years old! What do I care how many games these two teams have playing on ESPN Classic?
S: C’mon, that’s just ignorant. You have to care about some of the history.
B: First of all, no I don’t. Secondly, I do care. I care to know it. But how does it possibly make a 2008 Lakers-Celtics final any more exciting to know that the two teams used to have a great rivalry? They don’t anymore! It’s only a rivalry to older fans!
S: You’ve thought a great deal about this.
B: Of course I have. It’d be the same principle, albeit to a lesser degree, to hope that when the Blazers finally get to the Finals again that they play the Bulls because Jordan and Drexler used to have some great battles.
S: Man, I’d love to see a Blazers-Bulls Finals.
B: Why?
S: It’d remind me a lot of ‘92.
B: Arse.
S: So what are our rules? How does one root when one has nothing left to root for?
B: Apparently, the only rule is don’t root for the Lakers. After that, all bets are off.
S: Makes sense, because if you don’t have any rooting interest left but are still watching, you’ve got to be a little crazy anyway.
B: Which brings me back to my original plan. I’ll just pretend it’s not going on.
S: So who you voting for for Prez?
B: I have to work.
S: I thought so.

I did something I never thought I’d do today: watched a large portion of a Spanish League basketball game. Rudy Fernandez’s team is in the championship against some team with blue uniforms (if my Spanish comprehension skills serve me well), and I thought I’d take the opportunity to watch the man without the clever editing of the youtubes (link thanks to someone in the oregonlive.com Blazers’ forum–the second time I’ve found something valuable on a message board). It was an interesting experience, and here’s what I took from it.

General
1) Spanish basketball, not surprisingly, is similar to soccer: hairy arms flailing everywhere. One of the most interesting parts of the game to me was when a defender tried to flop to sell an illegal pick call, and injured himself taking the dive. Nice.

2) Defense is nowhere to be found overseas. Which is unfortunate, because it’s nowhere to be found here either.

3) Some of those guys are better athletes than I expected them to be. I’m not saying there was a lot of above-the-rim play, but they were very quick. Then again, that could have been the defense talking.

Rudy
1) He’s better than I thought he would be. He’s clearly the best player on the floor. In Spain. Which, if he’s going to be an NBA-caliber player, he’d better be.

2) Not always the best decision-maker, but he wasn’t terrible either. He had a couple Manu Ginobili patented jump-pass-to-no-one moments, but he also showed surprisingly good court vision. A lot of wrap-around passes to a cutter.

3) He would make a good point guard offensively. Along with his court vision, he handled the ball very comfortably at all times. He would, however, be a liability on defense against the west’s best guards. That may not be that important, though, with Oden there to bail him out. And really, after this year, who hasn’t been shown to be a liability against Chris Paul and Deron Williams?

4) He’s probably not that good. The defense really was bad (olé!), and the refs were visibly infatuated with Rudy and his beautiful curls. He sparked a 12-point comeback for his team with 3 minutes left almost entirely from the free-throw line. He was getting Kobe calls (really! Watch that clip–:52 seconds in is fun).

5) He dominates the ball, and seems to need it to be good. It also shouldn’t be ignored that on his team he needs him to dominate the ball to create for them. Either way, he’ll need to make an immediate adjustment to his on-court style to mesh with the Blazers as presently constituted. There was one particular play in which he saved the ball to a teammate, then ran to an open spot, got the ball back, and sunk the shot. It gave me some confidence that he’s got the smarts to be good off the ball. Then again, it was only one play. And even Shawn Bradley had highlights.

It was probably the last Spanish League game I’ll ever watch, but it was great to finally get to see the player that Kevin Pritchard is so excited about having here next year. I’m guardedly optimistic. As long as he keeps the turnovers down, he should earn some minutes on this team.